Father’s Day When Dad’s not Around

Holidays can be difficult and stressful times, largely because they’re supposed to be joyful occasions filled with family and love. This is widely recognized in December, but what about other special days earlier in the year? For example, how do you celebrate or simply survive Father’s Day when Dad isn’t in the picture?

There can be a number of reasons why the father of your children isn’t around on the third Sunday in June.

It may be that you’re a single parent due to your spouse dying, being divorced, or you just never married. Or maybe Dad’s just away because of work. Maybe he even serves in the military.

Just because Dad isn’t around, there are still a variety of ways you can celebrate the holiday or get through the day.

One of the best things you can do is to tap into your Internal Guidance System (IGS) well in advance of the holiday. Using your IGS to recognize how you’re feeling about the absence of Dad is an important step and should be done when you have some time away from your children.

By being aware of your true feelings, you’ll be able to be honest with yourself and your kids, but also be respectful of their father and the situation.

Kids are smart and they’re very sensitive to your feelings even if you think you’re hiding them well. If you try to muddle through and just camouflage your feelings, you’ll be setting up a conflict that your kids will sense even if they can’t clearly identify it.

They’ll hear your words, feel your energy, and know the two aren’t in alignment. No matter how your kids respond to this disconnect, this isn’t in their best interest. They may learn to distrust their own IGS and intuition or they may even distrust you.

Your IGS can also help you discover the best way to handle the holiday for YOUR family. Remember this isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation and the answer won’t be either. Practice some different scenarios and feel what it might be like to be your children in the situation.

Does it feel good to have another adult male present or does that feel confusing or scary; like he might be trying to take Dad’s place?

How does it feel to spend time talking about Dad and why he isn’t there in an age and situation-appropriate way? Would it feel good to celebrate with another family or to talk about why fathers are special in more general terms?

For some families, it might feel good to celebrate what being a father means and whether that role is biological or not. You can talk about why Father’s Day was created in the first place -- as a day to thank and celebrate men for loving and supporting their families in so many ways. Perhaps you celebrate with grandfathers, uncles, or other male friends.

Be prepared to allow your kids to express their feelings about Father’s Day without Dad. Help them tap into their IGS to work through those feelings. If they’re feeling angry or sad because their father isn’t around, can they use their IGS to find a way to feel better without a magic wand?

This can be a painful and difficult day for both sons and daughters, so it’ll be important to keep the communication lines open. As your children grow and mature, you may be able to share more details about why their father isn’t there.

By honoring each family member’s feelings, you can help your children through challenging holidays. You can also teach them how to be adults who love, honor, and support their own children in the future. In the meantime, you can build your own family traditions that honor your family as it is in that moment.

For more, please visit www.SharonBallantine.com.

Skills Over Fancy Tools Key for Both LOA and Photography

Everyone knows people who have taken up a new hobby and before they have even taken one lesson, they have gone out and purchased the best equipment money can buy. Truth is, almost everyone has done this at least once in their lives. 

That is why so many people have closets, basements, and garages filled with stuff they don’t use and why there are a plethora of garage sales, listings on sites such as Craigslist and eBay, and resale stores.

While it may be necessary to invest some money in new tools, it’s often true that you can get excellent results with either what you already have or with a simple, lower cost investment.

This is certainly the case for both learning to apply the Law of Attraction (LOA) and taking up the art of photography.

There are ample opportunities in either of these endeavors to spend lots of money.  You may choose to do so over time, depending on your own goals and desires. For most people, spending large amounts isn’t necessary and certainly not a prerequisite to beginning your studies.

To take a good photograph, you don’t need to have the fanciest camera. While it’s true that professional photographers often have several cameras, each costing thousands of dollars, it isn’t necessarily the equipment that earned them their standing. Even if your goal is to become a pro, starting off with fancy gear may actually inhibit rather than inspire you.

While the camera on your smartphone may not be top-notch, it’s convenient and something you probably already carry, so it’s a good place to start. With this simple camera, you can move beyond the “Ooh, isn’t that cool” snapshot and learn what it takes through practice to more consistently capture the image.

The first place to start is to learn the equipment you already have. Your phone/camera has a user’s manual. Read it. Learn the basics of photography and then begin shooting.

You’ll discover that getting the shot does require taking lots of pictures, but also requires patience, lighting, etc. No matter what, some of the best photographs are “happy accidents,” captured only because the photographer was in the right place at the right time with their gear.

Once you’ve learned more about photography and have more confidence in your abilities to capture the desired image, you may decide to upgrade your camera. You may buy different lenses and a bag to carry them in.

By tapping into your Internal Guidance System (IGS) you’ll know which type of photography you really enjoy as your skills grow. This will help steer you to the proper equipment to buy for your goals. If you love taking portraits, you’ll likely want different gear than if your thrill is taking shots of wildlife while out hiking in nature. Some photographers will be excited about tiny details, while others prefer broad scenic shots. This will also impact your purchasing decisions.

Learning to apply the LOA is a similar process. You don’t need a lot of fancy courses or tools, but you do need some basics. Rather than a smartphone, your basic tools will be yourself and learning to trust your IGS.

Learn about the LOA, what it means, and how it works. Try a variety of simple tools to see what suits you best. Regularly tap into your IGS and it will steer you in the proper direction. You may decide that you like guided meditation and so you buy CDs or DVDs to assist with that process. Or you may discover that you like to meditate by listening to the sounds of nature outside your own door for free.

As you practice your basic LOA skills, you’ll probably discover that you’re pulled in one direction or another. You’ll find the gear that helps you to feel peaceful and abundant. Then you can focus on learning more about this area of interest and practice those specific skills rather than attempting to be an expert on all of them. You may also decide that you need a professional life coach.

Other people will decide they want to become professional LOA coaches, just as some people choose to become professional photographers. If you’re guided to take this path, then you’ll spend more money on tools, lessons, and coaching in order to reach your goal.

Whether you’re a photographer or a student of the LOA (or both), you should be open to learning more with what you have at hand right now. Allow your skills to develop. Tap into your IGS to determine which path to take as you grow. If you do this, you’ll find you’ve become an expert without having acquired a bunch of things you never really used or needed in the first place.

For more, please visit www.SharonBallantine.com.