It‘s
important for everyone to recognize that what they see on the outside doesn’t always
accurately reflect what’s going on inside. Strengths and weaknesses aren’t
always apparent; when you make assumptions based on outward appearances or
actions, you can often be mislead or come to inappropriate conclusions.
Sometimes a person appears to be physically strong and
healthy when in reality, their body is quite frail.
In general, people who have a strong, healthy appearance
are looked upon more favorably than those who appear sickly or weak. At the
same time, there are certain expectations placed upon someone who seems
physically fit.
What’s your reaction when you see a person who seems quite
capable park their vehicle in a parking spot clearly marked for the
handicapped?
Do you jump to the conclusion that they’re being
dishonest and taking a spot that should go to someone who actually needs it? Do
you think they’re abusing the system if they have the appropriate permits to
use the space? What about people who have breathing issues like emphysema?
Their handicap may not be evident on the outside, but they’re still
handicapped.
On the other hand, there are people who may appear to be
weak and are actually incredibly strong. When you assume that a person who’s
small in stature or delicate in build is weak, you’re discounting the abilities
of a huge percentage of the population.
Being physically strong doesn’t mean that you have to be
built like a linebacker or have six-pack abs. Physical strength comes in all
shapes and sizes -- just look at the variety of body types at the Olympic Games
and think about it.
You might see proof that physical strength isn’t related
to size in your own children or in their friends. Parents of children who are
considered small for their age can still support their children’s desire to
become athletes.
You might direct your children towards individual sports
or sports that are more suited for their builds. Yet what if they have their
sights on being basketball players or want to participate in other contact
sports?
It might be scary for you when you imagine all the other
kids dwarfing your son or daughter, but that doesn’t mean you should discourage
their participation.
Listen to you Internal Guidance System (IGS) so you can
know the best way to support your children. Encourage them to tap into their
IGS to follow their dreams. Imagine if Russell Westbrook had allowed his height
and lack of skill keep him from pursuing his dream of playing basketball. Once
deemed “too short” to play ball, Westbrook grew and ultimately became a star in
college ball and is now a megastar in the NBA.
There are strengths and weaknesses that aren’t physical
either. These are also open to misinterpretation.
When a man cries for example, it’s often treated as a
weakness. In reality, it takes great strength to be honest and open with one’s
emotions. Being strong emotionally is often seen as a positive trait, but it
can mean not being in touch with your feelings or lacking in empathy for
others. That’s clearly not something you’d encourage in your children.
Albert Einstein is an excellent and well-known example of
a person who apparently had a great academic weakness. He was considered a slow
learner, failed numerous exams, and by many accounts, had a bad memory. This
supposed “poor student” is now recognized as one of the
most brilliant minds of the 20th century.
Clearly, whether physical, emotional, or behavioral,
strengths and weaknesses aren’t always easily identified. Often what you see on
the outside isn’t at all consistent with the inner truth. You want others to
get to know our children for who they really are inside. We can also teach your
children to be open minded and not rush to judge someone by their external
appearance. Everyone wins when they look inside and give people the time to
grow into their abilities.
